I thought when you loose the trust in anyone that  had loved you, it would now become easier to bounce back from the pain. You know the name of that ship that was once called, "Not Again" or "Get On Board The Ship Of Pain And Agony?".

You know, when that belief system that anyone could be trusted at any point in this life,  is still on board that $%%# ship.

But in  actuality the trust you had for yourself is now  becomes questionable. If you can not trust yourself, how can you allow your trust be laid on someone else's shoulder, as well? Huh?

"Why did I pick him/her?  I already knew what  was going to happen. I knew it from the start, even when he/she didn't say it. I knew it would happen to me one day, it has  before . Why me?".

So, again my  confidence level for myself or even toward others becomes doubtful at its best.  I hope that the belief in me, can one day become justifiable.   I hope  that the trust level in myself can make a sound judgement call even when  I keep doing it again and again.

Thank you Jesus, for the allowance of second chances!