i know now why we sometimes say, "do you want to die?", or "i wish i was dead!".
it would seem that the choices are already made when nothing else seems to fit. i mean, just by knowing that you can take your own life into your hands and claim that this was your decision is unbelievabe onto itself.
but by you taking ownership on your life that had once was a possibility has now become an obligation of one's completion. or maybe it was because something had gone wrong.
no one else can claim or decide how you came about or why you decided to leave this world this way.
although, for myself, i do want to ask you now, "will God love you more when you finally die, because it does become your decision, you see?" or, "do you think that decision was made when your Mother had decided to give you birth instead of death? "